Buhtt sex?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
