Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
