No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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