I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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