nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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