I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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