you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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