Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
