Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
