and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
