the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
