How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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