the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
