but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
