it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
