We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
