Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
