Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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