i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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