When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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