he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
