You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
