What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize