When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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