Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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