whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
