I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
