Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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