he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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