How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
