I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
