I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is this like a preordered booty call?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
