did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
