I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
