Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
