That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
