i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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