I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
