You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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