brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
