I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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