is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Less talking, more tequila
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
