She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize