So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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