Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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