Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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