Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
send nudes
from the living room?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
