I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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