Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize