he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
