Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
