Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
