you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
