I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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