Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
