They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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