1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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