OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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