forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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