I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
