i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
