therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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