I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
