My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
