i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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