Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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