Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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