my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
