moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
