Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
