Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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