I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I had to cum in my sink.
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