so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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