I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
