Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
