What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
