I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
