dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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