drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
