So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
