We're facebook friends in real life
Do you still have your period?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
