I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
and she was petting her beer can
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
