please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
