I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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